Boiler Service, Car Service, What About Life Service?

Wouldn’t it be great if each year, along with the other mundane services that must be done; car service, boiler service, that kind of thing, you got a body service?

I’ve managed to quash my inner hypochondriac who plagued much of my teenage years during which time if I had a pain in my head I was convinced it was a tumour, or one bruise too many on my leg and I surely had leukaemia, but those nights I spent unable to sleep for fear that I would die in the night of my obvious ailments would have been eradicated if only I could have had a body service.

I’m sure such a thing exists, but it’s got to be expensive, so hardly anyone can afford it. What if they ran services at £20 or £30 a pop though? Surely everyone would sign up and they’d make a killing(!).

We are all dying, there’s no getting away from that, but no one wants to die prematurely and in pain. Unless your Thanos is sky high, you want to stay alive.

I think it’s a good idea. All this boiler service, car service malarkey is necessary I suppose, but what’s more necessary, your boiler or your life? Hmm?

Boiler? Life?

But would a life service REALLY put an end to worrying, or would you just shift your worry elsewhere?

I have a theory that we all have this band of worry we carry around, and the worry never really lessens or grows, it just moves to different things. For example, if you were being bullied at school, you’d have a constant knot of worry in your belly. Then one day (you’re a particularly unlucky person in this story) you discover you have six months to live.

This worry would shift away from the bullying and on to the dying, but wouldn’t necessarily increase or decrease.

A different subject would occupy the band of worry that we all must bear.

We need to worry.