Pratt Is To Brown As An Air Conditioner Is To A Siberian

Announcement from Christine Pratt, head of the National Bullying Helpline, about bullying allegations from  staff at Number 10 must have been about as welcome to the Labour party as an air conditioner to a Siberian.

And posh boy Cameron has leapt on the bandwagon in sheer delight, calling for investigations into office bullying at Downing Street and crossing his fingers in hope that something sinister is unturned. Oh how his chubby, ruddy, privileged little face must have lit up when he found out about Pratt’s announcements!

“Despite my leading in the polls, there is still the stubborn undercurrent amongst the great unwashed that insists on supporting bloody Labour,” he spat, stamping his privileged little feet.

“I must, must, must run with this possible slur on Brown’s character and make the most of it, lest another poster campaign of mine featuring my delightful bourgeois face is disastrously spoofed by those scum-of-the-Earth Proles.”

Unfortunately for the spoilt one, the latest poll from YouGov has found that Tory support has slumped massively, and the gap between the Tory Party and the Labour Party is at its smallest since December 2008.

Pratt, a living, breathing example of nominative determinism in action, breached the confidentiality mantra of her charity, and failed to create a backlash against Brown. Whoopsie! Brown’s bounced back and lives to fight another day.